The Big Gay Jay Award Show



This week I have been inspired by the Emmy awards.   So I have decided to give out my own awards.  The Big Gay Jay Awards will soon have a broadcast that will contend with the Emmy’s.  Networks will clamor to televise it, but until then I will hand out the Golden Wine Glass to the Winners.  I do mean winners because this isn’t those other pansy awards where we say “the award goes to”.  We will say probably “The Winner Is”.

 

 

1^st Category is the “Biggest Entertainment News Douchebag”.  The nominees are….

 

Ryan Seacrest – the Alien from the distant planet of Uranus that plans to drain the intelligence from the human race.  He has shoved his opinions and radio personality down our throats for years.  Now thanks to megalomaniac Simon Cowell who placed him in power thinking he could control him, Ryan has brought us the joys of the Kardashians and their demon she-devil Kris Jenner, the boring drill a hole in my hand Jonas Reality show and the equally mind numbing Wanted Life with Whiney Siva.  If that wasn’t enough, he thinks he’s Barbara Walters having hour long shows with the above group of buffoons and even Selena Gomez, who is under his mind control powers.  I’m just saying watch out world because soon we will be overran by intergalactic slugs from Uranus and Bruce Jenner will be the puppet Czar of Earth.  It could happen.

 

Harry Levin – really do I need anything to convince you how slimy this goon is.  He has crawled from the underbelly of the legal system to raise hell on the planet.  How he went from crowd reporter of the People’s Court to having his own show is beyond me, especially when his smile is creepy like "Stranger Danger" creepy.  The shows journalistic relevance is asking stupid questions to people who could care less about them or people we could care less about.  When you have to explain to your audience who a celebrity is, they are not a celebrity.  The whole group are working on one brain cell which they share on alternate days.  However, Harry is their leader and I’m sure their supplier.  They all look high as a kite, hungry and tired.

 

Michael Yo- Speaking of an alien, the OMG Insider (what a horrible teen based name for a show) correspondent, Michael Yo, is from the inner workings of a far distant nebula.  We don’t have to worry too much from this guy because we will soon run him out of town like his home planet chased him out of their system.  His claim to fame was being a contestant on Fear Factor, one of the biggest waste of television ever produced.  He then says he’s a comedian and must have something on Chelsea Handler, because she keeps on booking this asshat.  Then somehow he weaseled his way on to this entertainment news (laugh) show.  He’s about as funny as genocide and the only way to make your viewing more pleasurable when he is on is to turn the channel.

 

Billy Bush – This seemingly all-American twit tries his damnedest to be like his alien crush, Ryan Seacrest.  Ryan may be an alien, but Billy is just plain ignorant.  He overdramatizes everything.  He would report that the sky is blue, but believes the clouds are angry with the sky because they are upstaging the sky.  He’s a complete baboon thinks he’s smart and talented.  I know you would think he’s related to the Amazonian Kardashian clan, but he’s not.  He’s related to those simple Bush folk from Texas.  Can you really come back from that?  Seriously, he's just taking up space that could be filled by someone else who may have some talent that needs some work and definitely someone who is not related to Former President George W, "I'm a liar" Bush. 

 

 

 

 

And the Winner is…….Billy Bush.   Any person with a twinge of Bush Blood should be yanked from public view.  President Daddy Bush was great, but President Son Bush ruined the whole family blood line.  Too bad Billy, you are the weakest link….Goodbye

 

 

 

Our next award is for the “Gone Not Soon Enough” award.  This goes to the show that cancelled way too early and the networks should be ashamed of themselves.  The nominees are…..

 

 

Don’t Trust the B in Apartment 23 – This shows was ruined by James Van Der Beek.  They should have gone with someone who had a little more talent, which would be about anyone.  Plus replaced the writers with some people who understood humor.

The Glass House – one of the worst reality shows of all time.  It was a huge rip-off of Big Brother and no one could see it…Oh yeah they did because the ratings were horrible and ABC was sued by CBS.

Happily Divorced – Fran Drescher….how we put up with that whiny annoying voice for all of the seasons of the Nanny is beyond me.  I can’t even watch reruns of it.  Fran get rid of the voice and rework your talent.  Have you tried Mime school?

Malibu Country – I am a huge fan of Reba McEntire. Lily Tomlin, Sara Rue and Jai Rodriguez.  Plus Justin Prentice who played Reba’s son was very cute.  However, it was too much like Reba, her original show.  I think Reba’s move should have been a weekly drama show or she can host all Country Award shows…like Neil Patrick Harris hosts all the Acting Award shows.

 

And the Winner is…..Happily Divorced.  Please can we take up a donation to send Fran Drescher to Mime School, so she can earn a living again.

 

Our next award is “Worst Talk Show”.  The last two years were the years of everyone to get their own talk show.  Some were dug up again and some were new faces to get their chance to take over the spots left by Oprah and Tyra’s absence.  The nominees are……

 

The Ricki Lake Show – Why they did this is beyond me?  We are beyond the doorbell and surprise guests.  Right?  I mean we all know that the people on Jerry Springer fake their own situations so they can get their 15 minutes of shame and I am sure they did the same on all of those shows like Ricki’s original show.  She can’t come back and try to make us take her serious.  She should have gone on a panel show like take over the spot of one the fallen from the View.

The Jeff Probst Show – Seemed like a good idea, his show Survivor is watched by millions and there is an endless list of f-rated reality celebrities to prance through.  What should have happened was to keep Lisa Welchel with Jeff Probst and they co host the show.  I think it would have gone better. 

The Kris Jenner Show- - Before I start, I have great love for Khloe Kardashian and I apologize for what I am about to say because if I ever get my own talk show, I want you to be my co-host.  Now that I am done sucking up.  The majority of America sees this woman as the biggest pimp in the world.  We all know she leaked Kim’s sex tape so she could further Kim’s career.  She dragged an unwilling Kourtney to expose her life on national television.  She causes more drama and seems to forget that she’s the mother of all those bratty kids.  Again, I must state Khloe is not a brat.  We all know that North (shaking my head) will soon be a YouTube sensation and managed by loving doting Grandmother Kris. 

Anderson Live – Though the show was going on its third season, it should never have gone past one season.  Not because I don’t like Anderson Cooper, I think it tainted his image.  He was a newsman and we all loved him for it.  We trusted him and thanked him for his honest reporting amongst all the tainted journalists.  His second mistake was given airtime to over the top and entertainment worthless hack sidekick that he had.  I can’t even remember his name.  All I know is he annoyed the crap out of me.

 

And the Winner is…..Kris Jenner.  This of course is the only time she will read that anywhere.  She needs to stick pimping out her family and stop trying to get a solo television career.  The only acting we want to see her do is a corpse on CSI because lying still and not talking is the only way we can tolerate her. I know I should like her because she's a lush and I love her daughter, Khloe, but I just can't do it.  My mother raised me knowing right from wrong and liking Kris Jenner as television personality is wrong on all sorts of levels.  Plus I swear she's a succubus from hell that has taken over a human.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now for some eye candy, the award for ”Hottest Chick”  The nominees are……

 

Mindy Khaling – the hot star of the Mindy Project on Fox.  She plays a great neurotic, crazy and lovable character that we have been missing since Will and Grace left us. 

 

 
 
Georgia King – the blond gorgeous star of The New Normal (sad it is cancelled).  She was beautiful thin, pregnant, crazy, sane, daughter, mother and surrogate.  The show and her character will be missed, but I'm sure we will see her in other projects real soon.

 

Lucy Liu – Elementary ----how can you go wrong with this beauty in such a great show.  She plays Watson and whoever thought that was plausible, but it is.  She is hauntingly beautiful, striking and amazing.

 

Kerry Washington – Scandal…..She is the Scandal on all levels.  She is smoking hot, talented and has this smoldering look.  She can melt anyone's heart and burn anyone's sheets.  I'm sure she is dream and desire of many straight men. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Winner is….the beautiful, amazing and lovely Kerry Washington.  She’s hot.  Her career is on fire with Scandal and Django Unchained.  Halley Berry may have competition now with Kerry Washington.

 

 

We saw my take on girls so let’s do the dudes.  The award for “Hottest Stud”  The nominees are…….

 

 

Stephen Amell – Arrow – How could you not mention this hunk of badass.  He has taken a pretty lackluster superhero and made him doable, likeable and believable.  When it was announced that he was going to be Oliver.  Comic Fan World rejoiced.  Comic Gay Fan World lusted.  He's done a great job showing the brooding side to this unsung DC hero. That is awesome…..Now if only he were gay, he would perfect.

 

Johnny Lee Miller – How could I mention Lucy Liu without pointing out her co-star?  Johnny like Stephen has brought new life to Sherlock.  He’s a recovering drug addict which speaks to many with Florence Nightingale syndrome and many with the bad boy complex.  He has made an uptight detective and made him relevant, sexy and up to date.  He's even better dare I say Robert Downey Jr.

 

JD Pardo – Speaking of bad boys, this actor brought Jason Neville from Revolution alive.  He was a bad guy, fell in love with the girl he was supposed to capture and then joined the revolution against his father. You couldn’t help falling in love with him.  He was that bad boy with a heart of gold.  He can try and capture my flag any day.  In fact, I probably would give it to him.  Congrats on the renew of the show as well.

 

Chris Messina – The funny Dr. Danny Castellano from the Mindy Project which I have talked about in past postings.  He’s simply adorable, manly and a bit of a jerk, which most women and gay men really like. He reminds me so much of some guys I had some huge crushes, which means he's one of the celebrities that look real.  He looks like a normal guy and not some fake, over plastic celebrity. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And the Winner is…..Stephen Amell.  He’s just simply the hottest.  I mean look at the picture and tell me he doesn't deserve it.  I think he may be the hottest superhero as well.

 

 

 

I will end the post with that award.  Have a great day and enjoy the Emmy’s!!!!!!

  May all your drinks be mixed well and heavily poured.

First

Hello everyone from beautiful San Jose Costa Rica!  Today is September 15th which is Independence Day for most if not all of Central America.  Happy Independence Day to all my Central American readers which is probably just one....Oh wait, I don't count since I am typing this and I am a Gringo not from Central America.  Oh well, I will just pour me some wine and start this weeks blog.

I am putting my catty comments aside to day to discuss a couple of subject that is very near to my heart....me.  Just kidding well kind of...The main topics in the LGBT Community is Equality of Marriage, Bullying and the fear some fear and many of us did fear years ago is someone found out that we were different.  I though I should share a pinch of my story with all three of you readers.  Then next week we will get back to back biting bitchiness of me after the Emmy Awards.

One of the funniest questions that most people have asked me over the years is when did I know.  For years, I came up with some story that wasn't true because it seemed people were always looking for a definitive answer.  They wanted to pinpoint that moment when I knew I was gay.  I guess to either confirm they were or not or a loved was or not or to watch out for it with their kids.

The crazy thing is that at some level I always knew.  I know that seems like a cop out.  Many people will be like how did you know when you were so small because kids don't even think about sex which is true.  However, being gay is more than just sex.  It's hard to explain, but I compare it to mediums.  You know you are a medium because you feel it and you experience these sensations that no one else except for a few others can feel.  There are some that can fake it for whatever reason, but the true mediums and true LGBT just feel it and it has always been with them.

I always knew I was different.  I always wanted to be around girls because I felt more comfortable around them.  I was very intimidated by men including my brothers, father, cousins and so on.  I always felt better around my mom, aunts and female cousins.  As a kid, I knew this was odd, but I was very scared of men so I stayed with the womenfolk which caused me even more pain.

Public school was never easy for this awkward kid that was me.  I was very shy, sensitive and well...to put it bluntly feminine.  Looking back, I have to admit I was a little girly.  I wasn't prancing around (well not all the time), but I definitely was not a rough and tumble boy.  I had more sugar and spice than snips and snails.

Because I hung with the girls in school and not the boys and I would cry at the drop of a hat, I was called all sorts of names like sissy, gay, queer, fag, faggot and so on .  When I first heard them, I had no idea what they meant and cried just because everyone was laughing at me which made the teasing that much more harsh.  They were relentless and the farmer and little town boys of Maryville, MO made me think of suicide and worse at the age of ten. 

When I learned what the words meant, it became real for me.  At first, I didn't understand why anyone would call me these names.  Then the few male friends I had and their families tried to help me by telling me to be tougher and stop crying.  Stop hanging around the girls so much.  Stop being a sissy.  I tried but no matter what I did.  The other boys in the school would relentlessly torture me.

I use to pray that someone would kidnap me.  I built a fantasy where I was adopted and my real parents would finally come rescue me from the hell that I was living.  I wanted to run for the hills and never return. I was young and I had just realized that I had fallen in love with my best friend, Mike.

I was ten to eleven when I knew I loved Mike.  He had been my friend since I was six or younger, not really sure.  He lived just a block away from me in little home with his parents, his big sister, Mary, and his younger brother, Paul.  Over the years we had spent the night together at each other's house many times. We had played in the neighborhood running the streets of the small town and riding bikes all over.  We constantly were at the public pool swimming and so on.

The moment I realized I had fallen in love with him is like it happened yesterday.  He was changing clothes and getting ready for bed.  He had stripped to his underwear.  For some reason, my thoughts were x-rated.  It scared the hell out of me.  I never let on that night, but I really couldn't sleep because I could swear he could read my mind.  I knew he would find out and then stop being my friend.  I was in complete terror.  In that moment, I realized that I had to live a lie forever because no one could know.

I couldn't tell any of my friends, because none of them would be my friends.  They would all begin to bully me like all the other kids in town.  I couldn't bear that happening.  Can you tell I was little melodramatic?  I was on my own.  Somewhere in my head I knew something had to change because if it didn't I wasn't going to survive the hell that was my life at that time.

Like most LGBT members, family life wasn't much better.  Don't get me wrong, my immediate family and extended family never really spoke bad about the LGBT community.  The bad views came from the community, television and the church.  It was never really a topic for us to discuss.  However, the closest sibling I had was nine years older than me and you can't really confide in them because they are really like additional parents and instead of listening they want to fix it.  My closest cousin in age was a male cousin, Chuck,  that was exactly like the boys who bullied me at school.

Now Chuck didn't bully me so don't get that started.  He just did things like them.  He got dirty.  He got hurt.  He liked to hunt.  He liked to fish.  I was his complete opposite and he intimidated the hell out of me.  I think I stayed away from him on purpose for several reasons.  We didn't have that much in common.  I was afraid he would start bullying me.  I was also convinced that he knew I was gay and was going to tell my family and then my family would kick me out in the streets.  I really did him a disservice by treating him like the enemy just because he had similar interests of the bullys.  Come to think of it, I owe him an apology because he is pretty neat guy.   

How did I survive this hell?  I was in so much fear of what might happened that I did nothing.  I didn't tell Mike that I loved him.  I didn't tell the bullies and the other kids that yes I was a fag and they could kiss my ass.  I didn't tell my family.  I did nothing.  I took the abuse and lived in my own fear built prison until my parents divorced and my mother and I moved to a different town many miles away where I could rewrite who Jay was.

That is the beginning of my story and maybe I can share the rest with you sometime.  Yes, I did tell Mike that I had loved him many years later and no we are not lovers.  I did tell my family and have love and support from all levels from my parents to brothers to Cousin Chuck.  I did tell my former friends and classmates of years ago and only speak to three of them through social media.

So there is my first; when I knew, the abuse, my own fears and loathing and love.  I hope I didn't bore you too bad.  However, please know that each member of the LGBT has their own story and all of them are different.  Some of them are uneventful and some are ten times worse than mine.  Please be sympathetic and a good friend, sibling or parent and listen to these stories.  We don't tell them to hurt people or drudge up old feelings.  We tell them so we can stop someone else from feeling alone, to inform others on how we can make things better for the next generation and so our voice can heard and used for change in policy like Marriage Equality, Anti-Bullying Laws, Hate Crime Legislation so on.

As promised, next week will be about the Emmys, hotties, reality shows and gossip.  Here's a hottie to tie you over.



  May all your drinks be mixed well and heavily poured.



Got Lost in the Jungle for a little bit.



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hello all my sugar plums!!!!  How's life?  I am doing well.  It has been ages since I spoke to all of you.  How do you like the Header above I created?  I am playing with Photoshop.  I know I'm about a decade or two behind. 

 

Enough of that for now, let's catch up.  New in my life is that I have moved to the beautiful country of Costa Rica.  I am loving the sites and the feel of this wonderful gem in Central America.  I took tha last few months off to absorb my surroundings and enjoy life.  Don't most shows go on hiatus during the summer any way.  However, I have not learned Spanish very well and my television options are limited to the say the least.  I felt it was time for my hiatus to end, since there is so much to discuss. 

 

Hey leave me note telling me what you have been doing for the last two months. Here's a picture I got at a local Volcano National Park.  As you can see, I enjoy the natural beauty Costa Rica has to offer.

 



 

 

 

 

 

Where to begin?  Let's start with some entertainment news that is has either gotten me excited or annoyed me or did both. 

 

 

June:

 

It was Pride month and it was my last post.  Macklemore and Ryan Lewis hit "Same Love" shot up the charts.  It lifted our spirits and gave us hope about the fight for equality.  The first time I heard the song I almost wrecked my car because I was sobbing so much.  Why was I crying?  It was the first time that a mainstream top 40 hit addressed the issue so boldly.  I praise and will forever be a fan of Macklemore and Ryan Lewis.  As many of you know, I was kind of on the fence about getting married someday and now I look forward to it because I really see it as a goal now.   That is in a large part thanks to Macklemore and Ryan Lewis. 

 

At the same time, Paris Jackson attempted suicide.  I really feel for this young lady.  It is hard enough to be Michael Jackson's daughter, but to have lost her father at such a young age, forced into the public eye and fought over by "loving" family members and then just being a teenage girl.  This is a mixture for disaster.  I hope she is getting the she needs.  I hope her brothers are doing well.  I also hope the rest of the family leave these kids and their grandmother alone. 

 

Justin Bieber and crew kept up their antics throughout the the summer.  Just in June she attacked a photographer.  I wonder if it is because the photographer caught her kissing her boyfriend, Little Twist, which proves she's no longer a lesbian.

 

James Gandolfini died in Italy.  He was a great actor and he will be missed. 

 

Kim "Whiner" Kardashian and Kanye "Bully" West named their daughter.  I am not much in making fun of children because kids need to be kids.  I just don't think Kim and Kanye were really thinking.  I want to believe Khloe said it as a joke and Kim and Kanye took her serious.  I just don't think they thought out North's life very well.  She can never be a girl scout because the whole troop will be confused when asked to find North.  However the name would be great for a Native American stripper, the stage name would be North Poledancer.  Seriously, I hope the child gets Kourtney's brains and Khloe's personality.  I wonder if Kris has talked to Disney JR about North's new television show.

 

George Lucas got married and my mother cried.  He was suppose to be my new step-father.

 

The US Supreme Court likes us....well kind of.  The Supreme Court on Wednesday ruled that married same-sex couples were entitled to federal benefits and, by declining to decide a case from California, effectively allowed same-sex marriages there. They did the safest ruling they could.  This has made the first paragraph even more attainable.  I better pick out my colors, flowers, get registered and find a husband. 

 

Next week we will go through July.

 

 

I will no longer yell or try to correct Justin Bieber.  She's lost for right now and will come back to her senses when she realizes how much of douche bag she was been lately or when she dumps her boyfriend, Little Twist. I'm angry over celebrities that are ungrateful and whining children.  I hate whiners. I also am angry over celebrities that think they have to prove something to the world or explain something to the world.

 

I am obsessed with "The Wanted" like most of the teen girl and gay man population.   Gay guys are really happy with this band because they are very attractive and are kind of manly. Don't worry the lesbians have "One Direction" to keep them happy, which makes me wonder why Taylor Swift switched leagues for a moment instead of going for Max from "The Wanted" but I digress.

 

Since I live in Costa Rica, my television viewing is limited because I don't understand Spanish.  I need Diego Luna to come live with me for awhile, but I digress again.  Anyway, I get unlimited amounts of Criminal Minds, Keeping Up with the Kardashians and The Wanted Life.  I have gotten to know Ryan Seacrest's bitches pretty well.  I have a favorite which is Tom.  My least favorite is Siva.  In fact, I have no idea what value he brings to the group.

 

He whines every time a decision has to be made.  He didn't want to go to Vegas because they weren't bringing their girlfriends.  Nareesha can just stay behind and spend the money he makes as long as he makes it,  because let's get real, he doesn't have a career after this gig is up. He then got his panties in a twist because the other guys wanted to have a BBQ at the house.  He and his girlfriend didn't want it to happen.  They felt they were being railroaded.  I guess she was scared that the girls would be gin to stalk them.  I am sure Siva has nothing to worry about.  They didn't like the house majority rules standard and my advise to them is stop being negative to every decision. 

 

Is the show scripted?  I am sure it is.  If he wants to be the one portrayed as the dick of the group,  he's doing well. I would throw him out and bring in someone else if you really think you need someone.  He can leave with his exhausting needy girlfriend and his freakish jawline.

 

 

Next is Miley Cyrus on the VMA.  Are you kidding me?  Why did she feel like she needed to do this horrible disgusting performance?  Was she being funny, sexy, professional or entertaining?  The answer is no on every level.  The outfit was too tight and didn't flatter her ass.  In fact, I am not quite sure she has one.  I have plenty and could give her some.

 

Let's even go further with Pedophile Robin Thicke. His part wasn't much better.  His striped pimp suit and grinding behind Miley trying to twerk.  I guess you don't need common sense to be a celebrity.  Thanks for showing how little decency you actually have Robin Thicke.  As the older of the two, you should have seen this train wreck coming and stopped it.

 

Last but not least, Miley's mother just shut up.  There is no way you are proud of your daughter's performance.  The only mothers that would be proud of that would be Kris Jenner or Dina Lohan.  Are you either of those women?  If so, then I see why Billy Ray left.

 

My next irritation is who in their right mind gave Kris Jenner a talk show.  Are you smoking crack?  Did you get ran over by Justin Bieber and her Leopard car (the gayest car in existence)?  Did you get struck by lightning?  Do you have a brain tumor?  Are you a possessed by a demon? Did one of your split personalities take over again? 

 

Gracias dios, the show was cancelled.  In six weeks, she proved how much of a lush she is which doesn't really bother me except according to rumors, she's a mean bitchy drunk.  I don't like that behavior.  She also proved how much she doesn't need to be in front of a camera at all.   Khloe deserves better.  I would watch Khloe's talk show.  Give her a show.  If she needs a cohost, I will do it as long as Mommy Dearest is not allowed on the set.

 

Now to wrap it up.  Here's the man I will marry.  Just as soon as he breaks up with the really cool blonde girl he's dating.  I like his sense of humor and edginess.  Tom Parker is just simply bad hot.

 

 

  May all your drinks be mixed well and heavily poured.