Inquiring Minds, Need for Speed and Coming Out Fatigue

Hello Everyone....Sorry I didn't post a new blog last week, but I was having some technical difficulties which hampered by ability to post.  However, I am back and I have some things to discuss.  Let's cuss and discuss now.

I'm just thinking out loud.  I recently made a trip back home to Kansas City to visit family and friends.  I tried to carve out some time for some to see some friends, but it didn't happen. I don't know if I dropped the ball or they dropped the ball, but I t was quite interesting to me.  Just to see how rapidly life continues on.

I've been on my new journey in Costa Rica now for 8 months now.  Thanks to social media, I've been able to keep up with everyone.  Social Media like Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest and so on have been great for allowing me to feel still connected to the people I adore and not feel homesick, which could happen when you are so far removed. I think it may have hampered my reunion with certain people when I visit.

Years ago, a friend would come into town after being gone for a while and everyone would rally around that friend to find out the details of their life since they last saw each other.  However, because of social media, we already know all the details, especially if you are like me and post everything either on Twitter, Facebook or a blog.  It leaves very little to discuss and lessens the desire to see each other.

I guess it does free up unnecessary conversation so you can concentrate on doing fun things with these individuals.  It also means you have to work harder at that relationship.  I may be reading too much into this and, because I have been back almost three times in those eight months, I may not have been gone long enough to let the grow fonder.



There are several Entertainment news shows out there in boob tube world.  I've talked about a few of the hosts and, if you have read earlier blogs, you know I am not a fan of too many of them.  Since I do love news about entertainment, I do watch some of them.  However, they drive me insane at the same time.  I know I'm in a vicious circle.  I am going to play good thing and bad thing about these shows.  Then I will give my opinion on Entertainment Tonight, E News, Access Hollywood and OMG.

1. Good Thing - They keep us up to date on television shows and movies.  Are they going to be cancelled?  What's Matt Damon's next film?  When does that new Avengers movie come out?

2. Bad Thing - They keep us up to date on celebrities personal lives.  I don't care about who they are marrying or divorcing or have in their bed.  I wouldn't be so disgusted by certain individuals if the media and paparazzi would keep some items private.  Maybe some celebrities wouldn't fallen so far off their game if the entertainment news media would have let them deal with their issues instead of giving them attention for their bad behavior.

3. Good Thing - They occasionally tell us stories about amazing individuals who may not be celebrity status but deserve the spotlight for their 15 minutes of fame.

4. Bad Thing - They keep that spotlight on some individuals too long  and create media whores because they have no talent to keep people interested and/or fund their new famous lifestyle.  You can basically name any E reality star, any person who has been on Real World, any of the Housewives of whatever county or state, so on and so forth.  Very little of these people have any entertainment talent or value.  The only reason we watch these shows is too make us feel better that our lives isn't as messed up as there lives.  That is not a reason to keep these people in the spotlight.

5. Good Thing - They keep us up to date with the tragedies in Entertainment world.  I mean the tragic deaths.  When a celebrity dies, their fan base wishes to have that knowledge so they can mourn the loss of their beloved star.

6. Bad Thing - They speculate about celebrity behavior and deaths without having facts.  They give their personal beliefs in relaying the news and spin it so they can get a reaction.  Plus the phrase "They have us talking about it', is not a good thing and doesn't mean the behavior, outfit, movie, and so on is a good or helpful for their career.

Now for a the ratings:

They get and F.  They are annoying.

The entire cast of OMG Insider should be canned, especially Michael Yo and Kevin Frazier, who both seem like they haven't a clue what they are doing and constantly make excuses for the talentless because they are apart of the group.

Access Hollywood is just plain drivel and is Fox News of the Entertainment World.  They report on their feelings and beliefs, not the story.  Billy Bush is the head of this serpent and needs to be cut off.  If that happens, the body will follow.

Entertainment Tonight is past its prime and needs to be cancelled.  It was good twenty years ago, but now it is hanging on by thread and that thread is Nancy O'Dell, which would give it a D, but then they brought Rob Marciano which brings it back to an F.

E News, finally, stopped giving airtime to the owner of the network, Ryan Seacrest.  I guess he decided the world didn't need to see him every night.  Now if we could get him to stop making reality shows that would be even better, but I digress.  Actually, they would have gotten a C because Guiliana Rancic and Terrence Jenkins.  They both give their spin on stuff which is true, but they are at least watchable.  However, they get an F as well because of the rest of the brainless so called reporters they have.  They even replaced Ryan Seacrest with his little sister, Jason Kennedy, who is just has annoying, vapid and self obsesses his big sister. Speaking of vapid, can someone explain the value of Catt Sadler in her role for E News?

The civilized world is finally understanding that equality means the same benefits, privileges and opportunities for everyone.  It is a thrilling time to be alive.  We are seeing equality in the area of marriage.  I never thought I would see it in my life time.  It is getting so prominent now that I am even thinking that marriage is an absolute possibility for me.  I just can't wait for all the wedding gifts.  I want matching china and real silverware.  I want fifteen blenders.  I want it all.  I want a bachelor party with drinks and strippers.  I want a nice tasteful wedding in "My colors are blush and bashful. I have chosen two shades of pink, one is much deeper than the other".  I want a reception with amazing food, a great bar and an awesome DJ playing music from the 70's to today.


Here is the latest in the news of marriage equality.

Oregon recognizes same sex marriages performed in other jurisdictions.
Limited recognition for same sex marriages performed in other jurisdictions has been granted in Missouri, Ohio and Colorado.

US District courts in Utah, Oklahoma, Virginia, Texas and Michigan have declared state constitutional amendments banning same sex marriage to be unconstitutional, but they are in the appeals process  as we speak.

In the US, marriage equality exists in California, Connecticut, Delaware, District of Columbia, Hawaii, Illinois (by June 2014),  Iowa, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Minnesota, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, Rhode Island, Vermont and Washington

You can also have a destination wedding if you so desire in England, Wales, Scotland, Sweden, Spain, South Africa, Portugal, Belgium, Brazil, Argentina, Canada, France, Iceland, Norway, Mexico City, New Zealand Proper and Netherlands Proper.

I am one of the many people who got to see this wonderful action packed film.  I am also one of the many people who loved playing the game.  I used to love playing racing video games Need for Speed and Midnight Club.  

1st, the action driving sequences were fantastic and were not filmed just for kicks and to get the audience pumped up.  The sequences had meaning and were apart of the story.

2nd, the acting was brilliant.  Aaron Paul was brooding and cool.  Dominic Cooper was slimy and manipulative.  The supporting cast of Imogen Potts, Rami Masek, Ramon Rodrgiuez, Scott Mescudi and Harrison Gilbertson were funny, exciting and seemed like they all fit together.

3rd, the storyline was actually really good.  It was predictable, but it was well written and well performed so it really didn't matter.

It is a great fun film filled with action.  I recommend everyone to see it.

Finally I am going to end with my opinion on a matter and then a question, that truly deserves an answer.

1st, I have been reading all over social media where individuals are tired of having news outlets report on celebrities who "come out of the closet".  I'm not sure of the reason that all news outlets have to glom on to the bit and won't let it go.  However, most people are tired of the initial reporting of it and type messages like "I can't wait until things of this nature are not newsworthy anymore".

Unfortunately, you will probably not see it in your life time.  Any time a bit of news will shock someone or get a reaction out of viewers, the news programs will report it.  As long as we sects of people who vehemently preach, teach and practice intolerance and hatred, these bits will still get a reaction from viewers. Until equality exists in all sections of life (including marriage) and in all professions (including sports), celebrities coming out are important.

As a gay child which I was, I had no one to look up to or to emulate.  I knew I was different from my dad and my brothers.  I knew I was more like my mother, but I couldn't be because I had the parts of my father and brothers.  It was very confusing for me and, because of it, I buried myself in world of denial and self-loathing.  I had no role model in my community, television, film or sports.  My only reference to gay man was Jack Tripper from "Three's Company" and he was a man living a lie as a gay man, so he wouldn't get thrown out of the apartment that he shared with two single girls.  I was the opposite.  I was a gay child living a lie so I wouldn't lose my life.

Would life have been different for me if I had a role model?  I don't know, but it sure seems like it is getting better and better the more and more of us throw open those doors and say we are tired of living in the shadows and we are ready to be role models to tomorrows LGBT communities.  So I am sorry people, yes, there will be more people throwing back the curtain like the bravery of Michael Sam from Mizzou or Tom Daley, the diver from Great Britain, or Ellen Page, the amazing young actress, or Wade Davis, who's working on putting an end to homophobia in the NFL, and so on and so forth.

The only way I can really say that this might stop is if you starting throwing us coming out parties like a debutante ball, sweet sixteen or quinceanera.   Who doesn't want to be celebrated, have a party or get presents?  Don't try to cheat us by saying Gay Pride is our party.  We each want an individual one.  However, if we start doing those celebrations, can I have one that I should have had 29 years ago?  I prefer cash as a gift please and prorated if at all possible (my mother is exempt from getting me a gift).

Now my question is, does age difference really matter?  What is socially acceptable?  Does it matter what society thinks?  People look at Hugh Hefner and some think he's awesome because he's marrying these twenty year old women when he is 87.  Is that creepy, gross, cool or awesome?

 Aaron Taylor-Johnson of Kick Ass 2 is married to woman 23 years older than him.  Michael Douglas is 25 years older than Catherine Zeta Jones.  Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes had 16 years separating them.  Brian Austin Green of 90210 and Megan Fox are 18 years apart.  Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart have a 22 years difference. Julianne Moore has an 11 years age difference with her younger hubby. Clint Eastwood and Dina Ruiz have 36 yrs separating them.  Mariah Carey is 12 years more mature than her hubby, Nick Cannon.  I guess if it is good for Han Solo, Mimi and Dirty Harry, it should be okay with everyone else.


Until next time, May all your drinks be top shelf and heavily poured.

First

Hello everyone from beautiful San Jose Costa Rica!  Today is September 15th which is Independence Day for most if not all of Central America.  Happy Independence Day to all my Central American readers which is probably just one....Oh wait, I don't count since I am typing this and I am a Gringo not from Central America.  Oh well, I will just pour me some wine and start this weeks blog.

I am putting my catty comments aside to day to discuss a couple of subject that is very near to my heart....me.  Just kidding well kind of...The main topics in the LGBT Community is Equality of Marriage, Bullying and the fear some fear and many of us did fear years ago is someone found out that we were different.  I though I should share a pinch of my story with all three of you readers.  Then next week we will get back to back biting bitchiness of me after the Emmy Awards.

One of the funniest questions that most people have asked me over the years is when did I know.  For years, I came up with some story that wasn't true because it seemed people were always looking for a definitive answer.  They wanted to pinpoint that moment when I knew I was gay.  I guess to either confirm they were or not or a loved was or not or to watch out for it with their kids.

The crazy thing is that at some level I always knew.  I know that seems like a cop out.  Many people will be like how did you know when you were so small because kids don't even think about sex which is true.  However, being gay is more than just sex.  It's hard to explain, but I compare it to mediums.  You know you are a medium because you feel it and you experience these sensations that no one else except for a few others can feel.  There are some that can fake it for whatever reason, but the true mediums and true LGBT just feel it and it has always been with them.

I always knew I was different.  I always wanted to be around girls because I felt more comfortable around them.  I was very intimidated by men including my brothers, father, cousins and so on.  I always felt better around my mom, aunts and female cousins.  As a kid, I knew this was odd, but I was very scared of men so I stayed with the womenfolk which caused me even more pain.

Public school was never easy for this awkward kid that was me.  I was very shy, sensitive and well...to put it bluntly feminine.  Looking back, I have to admit I was a little girly.  I wasn't prancing around (well not all the time), but I definitely was not a rough and tumble boy.  I had more sugar and spice than snips and snails.

Because I hung with the girls in school and not the boys and I would cry at the drop of a hat, I was called all sorts of names like sissy, gay, queer, fag, faggot and so on .  When I first heard them, I had no idea what they meant and cried just because everyone was laughing at me which made the teasing that much more harsh.  They were relentless and the farmer and little town boys of Maryville, MO made me think of suicide and worse at the age of ten. 

When I learned what the words meant, it became real for me.  At first, I didn't understand why anyone would call me these names.  Then the few male friends I had and their families tried to help me by telling me to be tougher and stop crying.  Stop hanging around the girls so much.  Stop being a sissy.  I tried but no matter what I did.  The other boys in the school would relentlessly torture me.

I use to pray that someone would kidnap me.  I built a fantasy where I was adopted and my real parents would finally come rescue me from the hell that I was living.  I wanted to run for the hills and never return. I was young and I had just realized that I had fallen in love with my best friend, Mike.

I was ten to eleven when I knew I loved Mike.  He had been my friend since I was six or younger, not really sure.  He lived just a block away from me in little home with his parents, his big sister, Mary, and his younger brother, Paul.  Over the years we had spent the night together at each other's house many times. We had played in the neighborhood running the streets of the small town and riding bikes all over.  We constantly were at the public pool swimming and so on.

The moment I realized I had fallen in love with him is like it happened yesterday.  He was changing clothes and getting ready for bed.  He had stripped to his underwear.  For some reason, my thoughts were x-rated.  It scared the hell out of me.  I never let on that night, but I really couldn't sleep because I could swear he could read my mind.  I knew he would find out and then stop being my friend.  I was in complete terror.  In that moment, I realized that I had to live a lie forever because no one could know.

I couldn't tell any of my friends, because none of them would be my friends.  They would all begin to bully me like all the other kids in town.  I couldn't bear that happening.  Can you tell I was little melodramatic?  I was on my own.  Somewhere in my head I knew something had to change because if it didn't I wasn't going to survive the hell that was my life at that time.

Like most LGBT members, family life wasn't much better.  Don't get me wrong, my immediate family and extended family never really spoke bad about the LGBT community.  The bad views came from the community, television and the church.  It was never really a topic for us to discuss.  However, the closest sibling I had was nine years older than me and you can't really confide in them because they are really like additional parents and instead of listening they want to fix it.  My closest cousin in age was a male cousin, Chuck,  that was exactly like the boys who bullied me at school.

Now Chuck didn't bully me so don't get that started.  He just did things like them.  He got dirty.  He got hurt.  He liked to hunt.  He liked to fish.  I was his complete opposite and he intimidated the hell out of me.  I think I stayed away from him on purpose for several reasons.  We didn't have that much in common.  I was afraid he would start bullying me.  I was also convinced that he knew I was gay and was going to tell my family and then my family would kick me out in the streets.  I really did him a disservice by treating him like the enemy just because he had similar interests of the bullys.  Come to think of it, I owe him an apology because he is pretty neat guy.   

How did I survive this hell?  I was in so much fear of what might happened that I did nothing.  I didn't tell Mike that I loved him.  I didn't tell the bullies and the other kids that yes I was a fag and they could kiss my ass.  I didn't tell my family.  I did nothing.  I took the abuse and lived in my own fear built prison until my parents divorced and my mother and I moved to a different town many miles away where I could rewrite who Jay was.

That is the beginning of my story and maybe I can share the rest with you sometime.  Yes, I did tell Mike that I had loved him many years later and no we are not lovers.  I did tell my family and have love and support from all levels from my parents to brothers to Cousin Chuck.  I did tell my former friends and classmates of years ago and only speak to three of them through social media.

So there is my first; when I knew, the abuse, my own fears and loathing and love.  I hope I didn't bore you too bad.  However, please know that each member of the LGBT has their own story and all of them are different.  Some of them are uneventful and some are ten times worse than mine.  Please be sympathetic and a good friend, sibling or parent and listen to these stories.  We don't tell them to hurt people or drudge up old feelings.  We tell them so we can stop someone else from feeling alone, to inform others on how we can make things better for the next generation and so our voice can heard and used for change in policy like Marriage Equality, Anti-Bullying Laws, Hate Crime Legislation so on.

As promised, next week will be about the Emmys, hotties, reality shows and gossip.  Here's a hottie to tie you over.



  May all your drinks be mixed well and heavily poured.