The Big Gay Jay Show

 



 

 

 

Hello All!!!   This week’s blog starts off with a political message.  I know say what.  He’s going political on me.  It stems from a conversation I had with a friend over dinner this weekend.  Let me get on top of this soapbox and let you have it.

 

As a group my friends and I try to get together for a meal at least twice a month.  Some weeks it’s easier said then done.  However, we have a great time when it comes together.  Will this always happen or be the case?  The answer is no, but I enjoy it as long as it lasts.

 

During dinner, we eye the waiters, drink martinis and talk about different topics like TV shows, movies or the local community.  We very seldom talk about politics, which irritates me because I enjoy an adult conversation about politics.  I am very open to hearing other people’s beliefs and values.  It doesn’t mean I agree with them, but it has been known on some rare occasion that I may learn about a subject which may alter my opinion or at the very least shine a light on a corner of the subject I had yet to discover.

 

Since no human being is cookie cutter, we are all on different levels of the liberal and conservative spectrum.  I am probably the most liberal of my friends.  I am bleeding heart to a degree.  Even though I would like to fix the world and chase the boogeyman way, I am realistic enough that I can’t fix everything. 

 

It has always escaped me about Gay Republicans especially when most of members of the party spout how evil the LGBT community is and how we don’t deserve the same legal rights and some still have the belief that we should all be shipped to an island and killed.  I can’t wrap my brain around it.  My initial belief is that the most self-loathing individuals of the LGBT community have to make up this Gay Republican group.

 

Though it will not change my stance on any political ground, I understand Gay Republicans or, at least, one of my friends who identifies himself as one.  He’s a nice young man that simply stated that he is more conservative than liberal especially when talking in fiscal terms.  So in essence, human rights issues are more important to me which doesn’t mean I want to be poor all my life or don’t care about our country’s budget, but it does mean I’m willing to shell out some money to help the less fortunate or to fight for equality.  On the other hand, my friend believes that fiscal issues are important which doesn’t mean he cares any less for the unfortunate or for equality, but he believes that making sure the integrity of the financial state is more important and in the end will allow programs to help the less fortunate.

 

I’m sure it goes deeper than that, but that was my take on it.  I appreciate him and appreciate all views.  I like hearing them and I like discussing them in a calm and appreciative manner.  We will never all 100% agree on any state policy, but to have no view and unable to discuss these views without having hurt feelings, name calling and leading to fights is a shame. 

 

Just my opinion. Take it or leave it.  Thank you

 

Now let’s have some fun.  I was born in 1969 for any young readers this means I am old, not ancient or decrepit, just old.  There never really were gay television icons or shows that I could watch, enjoy and get a semblance of being a part of anything.  The closest thing we had was that Jack Tripper on “Three’s Company” played brilliantly by John Ritter was a man living with two girls that had to pretend to be gay so the landlord wouldn’t kick them out.

 

Though daytime television came up with the occasional gay character that left a big impact on the viewers, the first real show that I can say I actually felt showed any real part of the LGBT struggle was “Queer as Folk”.  It was well written and played.  Yes, they were all pretty, way more sex and drugs than I ever could have dreamt to have, but it was a show that was in a word “fabulous”.

 

Everyone had their favorite.  Were you more like Michael, Justin, Brian, Ted or Emmett?  If you didn’t emulate them, you picked which one you wanted to bed.  Bars had viewing parties and drink specials.  It was a show about gay men for gay men.  We as a community for the most part loved every minute of it.  This one gay man really did love it.  Here’s a drinking game: watch an episode and drink every time Brian drops the F Bomb. 

 

The show even had the lesbian couple that keeps the gay men anchored.  The over exuberant “my son is gay and I'm proud of it” mother played wonderfully by Sharon Gless. The “my son just came out and I want to support him but unsure how” mother played equally brilliant by Sherry Miller.  Not mention the boyfriends and girlfriends of all the mentioned characters that really added a great flavor to the show.

 

I miss this show from my life.  It has been 7 years since this show was on the air.  I crave the drama.  I crave the characters.  I crave something like this.  I need to either have new Queer as Folk showing where the characters are.  Have Melanie and Lindsey moved back since the marriage equality is getting closer?  Has Brian stayed a part of Gus life?  Is Brian alive?  Did Justin finally find someone that is deserving of his love? How did things go with Emmett’s beau from Mississippi work out?  Did Ted and Blake work out? What happened to Michael and Ben?  Are they still together?  Don’t forget Hunter.  Did he go to college?  Is he dating girls or guys? 

If the actors for whatever reason don’t want to do it, can someone come up with an up to date version of this show or something similar to it?  I need gay fictional, well written and beautifully played drama.   Would a show about middle aged gay man go over well?  If so call me up, I’m ready.

 

Alright let’s get to some BEEFCAKE!!!

 

This week’s Beefcake is my number 2 dream man.  Not sure what I like about Boston, but apparently I like the guys a lot.  My beefcake this week is none other than hot, muscle bound and talented Mark Wahlberg. 

Who could forget Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch?  I fell in love with “Good Vibrations” video.  Sorry Mark, I know you are not gay, but I had a huge crush on you.  It didn’t help when you did the ad for Calvin Klein.  I thought I had lost my mind when I saw it.  It was kinds of crazy hot and solidified you in every gay mans heart and dreams.

 

I have watched and own most of your work.  Each film you get better and better.  “Boogie Nights”, “The Perfect Storm” and “The Fighter” to name just a few highlights are some of my favorite movies for different reasons.  Each of these films showcase a different part of your talent that simply makes me admire you more and more.

 

But going past the obvious looks, I am amazed at not only your talent as an actor, but also as a producer. Your success with "Entourage" and "Boardwalk Empire" blows my mind and showcases how smart you really are. You’re becoming a force to be reckoned in the industry which is amazing.  I seriously can’t wait for you new TV program, “Boston’s Finest” because like I have already stated that there’s something about you guys from Boston that flip my trigger.

 

 Time for some questions from “The Big Book of If” by Evelyn McFarlane and James Saywell

 

1)      If you could change one thing to make life easier for your children, what would you do?

 

Lose weight and keep it off so we can have a lot more time together

 

2)      If you had to sell your soul for one thing, what would it be?

 

The cure for all cancer found and made easily affordable for all human beings.

 

3)      If you could achieve absolute success in only one area of your life, what would it be?

 

            Fatherhood

 

4)      If you could determine the careers of your children, what would you them do, assuming they would be successful at it?

 

Teaching because my family has many teachers in it and it is one of the greatest professions there is.

 

 

I always want to introduce new segments so this week I have two segments.  Here we go with a HIMBO.  A himbo is a male bimbo; someone really pretty but just shows that elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top.   

My 1^st Himbo has to be Ryan Lochte.  For those of you who have no idea who he is, he is swimmer that won a couple of medals in the Olympics in 2012.  Since then he has been on talk shows, he’s gone on several red carpet events and soon will be coming to your televisions set on “E” with his new reality show, “What would Ryan Lochte do?” 

Let me begin by saying that “What would (fill in name) do?” tag line or logo is just plain tired.  No one cares what anyone else would do.  If Evangelicals continue to judge, they don't care what Jesus would do which is where the phrase came from in the beginning.  People don’t know Ryan Lochte and they don’t care what he would do or what he will do.

Next, he’s just a big ox that really has not displayed anything interesting except his ability to swim real fast and hog the spot light to extend his dwindling fifteen minutes of fame.  I’ve yet to hear any thing interesting in of talk show appearances.  He’s yet been able to display any kind of entertaining talent.  I mean if the show is of him flexing and running around in his Speedo then that might work for him, but other than that.  Look pretty and shut up.

 

For my final segment this week, we are Shining the Rainbow on a LGBT celebrity.  Check this guy out.  It is hot, luscious and smooth Darryl Stephens.  This man is a talented actor and I believe has not been given his best opportunity yet.  He was the title character in Noah’s Arc which ran on Logo for two years and was kind of like the African-American version of Queer as Folk. 

Unfortunately as many gay and lesbian actors often do, I think he gets pigeon holed as an over flamboyant gay man instead of letting his acting chops really kick and stretch as a performer.  He’s very good looking.  He shows talent. I believe with the right part he will soon be more of a household name and would get bigger offers and better roles.  He could be my love interest in my show about the middle aged gay fat man.

 

Well that's it for this week.  Thanks for all the support that my two readers have for me.  Until next week, May all your drinks be mixed well and heavily poured.



"Sex is like snow" and other thoughts 03/24/2013

The Big Gay Jay Show

 

 

 

 

Hello all of my avid readers....which since this is my second post will probably be two of you.  It is great to be back with you to share my insight and opinions.  Remember commentary is my opinion and not fact, though I may think it is.  Please feel free to add comments and suggestions after you read.  I greatly appreciate all feedback and may or may not listen to you, but at least you got to say your peace of mind about my inner thoughts.

 

 

 Let us start by diving in the pool of Strange News. I was surfing for material this week I came across two articles that tickled my funny bone and made me shake my head. There are some real wingdingers out there, but these are the two I liked the most.

 

1st from the website "The Week", I found the following article.

 

A Kentucky teen was charged with disorderly conduct for falsely yelling "bingo" in a bingo hall. District Judge Douglas Grothaus likened 18-year-old Austin Whaley's prank to yelling "fire" in a crowded theater, and ordered the teen not to say the word "bingo" for six months. "People take their bingo very seriously," the judge said.

Are you kidding me?  Really?  How do you enforce this ruling?  Do you hire a police officer just to follow the young man around?  I am all for making today's youth realize that there are consequences to their actions, but isn't this a bit odd and unrealistic.  Wouldn't he learn his lesson if you made him do community service like calling out BINGO Numbers at the local Nursing Home or serving food at a local soup kitchen?  I don't know if I find it funny that someone actually got in trouble for deliberately yelling a false "BINGO" or because the judge actually took it serious and gave some bogus ruling setting one of the dumbest precedents I have ever heard. 

 

2nd from "NPR", I found a telling yet disturbing statistic.  I just got the first couple of paragraphs because it just makes me shake my head.  I recommend going to the site and reading the full article.

 

Mobile phones have become ubiquitous across Africa and Asia, but lowly toilets haven't.

Right now, 6 billion people around the world have cellphones. But only 4.5 billion people have access to a clean commode, the United Nations said Thursday.

That leaves more than 2.5 billion people without a safe place to use the bathroom and more than a million resorting to going out in the open. Both practices, needless to say, can take a deadly toll on communities by dirtying water supplies and spreading diseases.

Okay...I understand I was lucky enough to have been born in the United States and I was raised with indoor plumbing, air conditioning, McDonald's, television and so on and so forth.  I understand that cleanliness is a healthy way to live.  My mother is still trying to bore in my head that I would feel better if my room didn't look like a tornado hit it.  It is sad that there is a good many people in the world that quite frankly don't have a bodily waste removal system other than their closest stream. 

 

 I will never swim in a lake, drink from a spring or  go floating on a river without some kind of antiseptic, antibiotic or...  I do have a flask of vodka with me most times and that should kill most bacteria right?....I guess I'm good.  Potty On 2.5 billion!!!

 

 Here are some funny quotes.

 Billy Crystal, "Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.”

Anonymous,“Sex is like snow, you never know how many inches you're going to get or how long it will last”

Anthony Hopkins, “I have a punishing workout regimen. Every day I do 3 minutes on a treadmill, then I lie down, drink a glass of vodka and smoke a cigarette.” - I like this regimen.

This Weeks Belle of the Ball is beautiful, fun and entertaining Kelly Osbourne. 

Who knew several years ago that the Gothic/Emo, vulgar, oddball child of Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne would grow up to be such a sophisticated young woman?  She is simply gorgeous and probably one of only a few younger ladies I find completely mesmerizing and fascinating.  She has really solidified herself as television personality thanks to her current job on "Fashion Police", her love for fashion and her unique style that shows the hard rock and roll child paired with the beautiful, soft sophisticated woman.  I love her and see great things in the future for this young style icon.

 I promise next weeks blog will not have Joan Rivers ( who I adore) or Guiliana Rancic (who is stunning) or Fashion Police.  I promise. I swear.

 New Segment....Called HUH?!?!?!?!

This segment is too pose a question to my audience to hopefully get a plausible solution to why such silliness happens or continues.
 

 Here is my silliness.  Why do the Networks not give a new show a chance to survive before they axe it?  Followers and supporters of Family Guy brought this great gem back from the ashes.  Have you even talked to a fan of Firefly?  Talk about a missed opportunity for the next great franchise.  To join Firefly on TV Cancellation Island are a few new shows which have people talking.  If no one else, I am talking about them.

Zero Hour....Why even start a series like this if you don't plan on completely at least one full season?  You got me enthralled in the story of Nazi's, Armageddon, doppelgangers, clones and so on.  Anthony Edwards as usual turned in a fantastic performance.  I also know that the word of mouth was just starting to get people interested in the whole process.  However, because of low ratings and a horrible time slot, it has been axed.

Last Resort...I have plenty of friends who are invested in this show and really liked it.  I can't comment on the plot or acting skills, because it wasn't my thing.  However, I have friends (and yes, they are real) who really miss this show and feel let down by the network because they didn't give it a real chance.








Partners....Was it the best show on TV?  No, it wasn't.  Was writing spectacular?  It was okay and getting better and better each episode.  The cast was fun and interesting.  They were quirky, fun to watch and, with a little bit of a writing tweak, I believe would have been the Next Will & Grace.  Hire me....I will write for it and bring it back from the Island of Misfit Programming.

Lastly, If you don't know by now, I am competition reality show whore.  I love Survivor, Amazing Race, Big Brother and so on.  This love is why I was so excited for The Job.  It was hosted by Lisa Ling and it pitted five potential new hires in a certain field against one another.  It wasn't claw your eyes out, back stabbing, trash talking behavior, which is why it probably didn't last.  The five potential candidates worked a day the company doing the hiring, defended the decisions they made, were tested by the potential company and grilled about the business and their resume.  Also there were three competitor companies in the same field who could offer a position to any of the candidates and steal them from the main company hiring.  I really enjoyed it.  It would just taken a few more hard hitting questions and tweak in the selection process and I think it would have been a hit.  Again call me and will fix it.

Why do they not give these and other shows a chance?  It is because of the Nielsen ratings.  A ratings system adapted from Radio for Television.  The data is collected by a device connected to the televisions of certain homes.  I have never met anyone who are one of these people nor have I ever been asked to be one of these people.  My opinion is this is an antiquated system of data gathering.  I watch a lot of items through Hulu, the Network's website, record them on my DVR and so on.  There are so many ways to watch programming now that I strongly believe that the Nielsen rating system either needs to be revamped to include such criteria or scrapped and new one replace it.



 

Since I am on a roll, I will go to this weeks BREAK DOWN. 

 

 

I will continue with the next generation like I did with Belle of the Ball.  When thinking of young people that could use my guidance, I came across many who could use a guiding hand.  So I picked the one that concerns me the most because his star is burning the brightest.  Ladies and Gentlemen, let us discuss my favorite singing lesbian,  Justin Bieber.  I joke, but, lets get real, he looks like most young lesbians I know and have known.  He's copied their look not the other way around.  But I digress.

 

The Biebs, as most people want to call him, has had a rash of incidents lately.  It is hard to remember that he is just a teenager because he's been in the limelight for a very long time.  I realize that I am not his demographic and I actually think it is gross when I hear gay men and straight woman my age talk in appropriately about what they would do Justin.  Beyond that, his recent decisions and comments concern me.

 

Biebs look.  Are most people jealous of you?  I would say yes.  Do they want to get a rise out of you?  I would say yes.  It must be difficult to go through puberty in front of the whole world today.  You can't fart without some news whore commenting on it least of all go through a break up.  Most of the outburst you have had I can chalk it up to being immature and being a 19 yr old boy. I say boy  not out of disrespect or being funny but because any real man will admit that we don't really grow up until after 40. 

However, this excerpt is kind of offensive "I’m 19 with 5 number one albums, 19 and I’ve seen the whole world. 19 and I’ve accomplished more than I could’ve ever dreamed of. I’m 19 and it must be scary to some people to think that this is just the beginning." I get it you are trying to defend yourself, but you don't need to do it.  Your success should speak for itself without you adding a voice to it.  I just don't want this clingy, bitchy, tear some down so we can stomp on them world bring you to bad places.

 

The last thing I do want to say is common decency goes a long way.  I know you do a lot of things for your fans and I respect you for that measure.  However, being 2 hours late to a concert or moving a concert from city to another at a moments noticed and kind of blowing it off or making excuses doesn't cut it.  These fans are the reason have been able to do all of the above.  You should just apologized and not said another word so again no could use to try and tear you down.

That is my sit down with the Biebs.  I put some pics up so you can drool.  I hope your happy.

 

Time for my

 PRIME CHOICE

BEEF of the WEEK.

Most people would say isn't the Biebs enough beef

I will try not to drool too much.  I just know that I could lick his chest.  Yes, I said what you were thinking.  I could and would run my tongue up and down his breastbone and over six pack.  Oh my...Hot Flash just came on.

 

Besides the obvious sculpted body and display of manliness in this film.  He shows his incredible talent in the romantic comedy, "Playing for Keeps".  He played a SCILF(Soccer Coach I'ld Like to F*#!) and who wouldn't take him home.  

 

Recently, he is Olympus Has Fallen about terrorists (I think) taking over the White House and holding our beloved Aaron Ekhart (president) as hostage.  A lot of critics are calling the film Die Hard in the White House, but who cares it looks like fun and I get to see the hotness of Gerard Butler.

 

If you want to see his films, check out the following Phantom of the Opera, Mrs. Brown, Dracula 2000 and Lara Croft Tomb Raider: the Cradle of Life just to mention a few.  He is a good actore but he is so good to look at as well.

 

 

In closing, let me give you tease for next week, I've decided my breakdown will be Glee.  I will give you up front and personal taste of the life that is Big Gay Jay.  I will have more beef to share.  But here's the last segment which is new........

 

 

Here are my answer to some of the if questions from my favorite book, "The Big Book of If" by Evelyn McFarlane and James Saywell.

1) If you were to be granted one wish, what would it be?

 That my son and his fiance would have a comfortable, happy and long life together to the end of their days.

2) If you could spend one whole night alone with anyone in the world who is currently alive, who would you select?

It doesn't say what we will be doing so that would be a big factor of who I would pick.  With that said, I would want someone who would have fun, drink and possibly turn to a little hanky panky.  My pick would be James Franco

 3) If you could spend one whole night with anyone in history, who would you chose?

 A lot of people might say Jesus, Albert Einstein, Mohammad, Moses, William Shakespeare any of the great minds and religious leaders of the past.  I would want Alexander the Great. I would ask about his conquests and life....what is true and what is a myth.

I am extremely interested in the Greek Era.  Alexander was one of the key people of this era.  He conquered his known world and did most things by the time he died at the age of 33.  Course, it doesn't hurt that he was so suppose to be very attractive and possibly gay.





4) If you could physically transport yourself to any place in the world at this moment, where would you go?

It is currently snowing and I want to live somewhere tropical.  I fell in love with San Jose Costa Rica the moment I landed in 2011 so I would want to be transported to San Jose Costa Rica

Tell me what would your answers be.

There you go folks....Blog of the week.  May all your drinks be mixed well and heavily poured.

Big Gay Jay