The Big Gay Jay Show

 

Welcome Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls!!!  I have some really good stuff today.  Since it is very windy where I am today, I am calling this by Big Blow Out Edition.  I have a new Breakdown to share.  You will never guess my Beef Cake pick.  I have a new Belle of the Ball for your reading pleasure and a movie Review, plus so much more.  Lets hop on the good foot and get this party started.

 

 

As we all know by now that I enjoy watching fashion shows like Project Runway and Fashion Star, thanks to Target I have come up with my new fashion color names for my plus size clothing line for women.  If Target has the balls to put a dress out in “Manatee Gray”, I think I can offer some new cooler choices as well.  Take for instance the stunning Blue Whale Blue.  You pick this lovely shade up for spring.  It’s not only a dress but a tent pavilion.  If that doesn’t suit you, you can pick up Elephant Tusk Ivory.  This color will go good for special occasion.  If earthy is your color tone, I would definitely buy the Brown Bear Tan.  Of course everyone should pick up that little Bovine Black dress because the color is so slimming. 

I know I’m a little behind in the rant but really Target, I thought you were classier.  This seems like something Wal-Mart would do.  I never expected you to be so insensitive. What the hell is going on that you must lash out in this way?  Are we not paying enough attention to you?  What are you a spoiled rotten child?

 

Speaking of spoiled rotten children, I have no idea who to be angrier at the politicians or the NRA or gun toting lunatics.  Guns are being brought into public places and being used to kill innocent people.  We don’t feel safe at school, at a mall or even a movie theatre and when it happens, the gun toting idiots are the first ones on the television talking about how the police didn’t do their jobs and how the psychos who killed these people should have been stopped before it got that far.  The same idiots then offer their services to come to such areas (especially schools) with their arsenal to help keep the place safe.  My brother is an administrator at a school and he can attest that did happen.

We have the chance now to do some real work at limiting this craziness.  However, the NRA, the godfather of the gun toting lunatics, wants to make sure that we are not infringing on their second amendment right.  They feel like they should be able to buy any weapon they want and when they want it.  They want little to know restrictions on this measure.  In fact, I’ve had conversations with a few of these people and they would prefer if we were set back in the ole west when everyone had a gun and everyone was shooting everyone.

The bleeding heart liberals, of whom I am, a part want more restrictions.  Why not have a more in depth universal back ground check including mental illness background done at gun shows, gun stores and so on?   It makes me believe that people against this measure, which is a no brainer to me, are people that would fail getting a weapon and deservedly so.  If you have a mental illness be it depression, ADHD, paranoia and so on, you shouldn’t have a gun.  Which I guess that is why the NRA is against it because then no one would have a gun and they would be shut down. 

I also don’t understand why they need semi-automatic or automatic weapons.  They act like we are at war.  Thank you, “Walking Dead” because you have given these gun toting lunatics a fallback answer. My gun toting idiot friends are now worried about a zombie apocalypse and feel they need all of these guns.  I guess the Walking Dead people would be republican gun toting enthusiasts which

is probably why I hate the show and call for it to be canceled.

Now for you that don’t know the second amendment states this and this only, “A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.” I just want people to realize that we already have a regulated militia for the security of a free state.  We call it the military.  This is something we didn’t have when the founding fathers wrote our constitution and we relied on the citizens to have their own weapons because when we called on them we wouldn’t have to supply them with weapons.

Don’t get wrong.  I believe the majority of our forefathers were forward thinking people.  I don’t believe that everyone should give up their guns.  I just believe in a stricter background check and longer waiting period for the person to get their guns.  I also don’t see why anyone needs semi or automatic weapons for hunting or protection.  Those weapons are just for killing period.

 

 

Movie Review Time

I have gone to see the movie “42”.  This movie is simply wonderful.  It is by far the best movie I have seen thus far in 2013.  The writing is spot on and, though racism is an ugly thing, it is beautifully captured in this film.  I was raised by a forwarded thinking Southern Midwest white woman who   She ingrained this in mind so much that it pains me to hear it.  I disliked rap music because every other word is the “N” word.  I saw “Django Unchained” and deeply disturbed my viewing because of the over use of the word.  I knew going into this film that they would use the word and I prepared myself for it.  They used the word and they used a lot.  However, the film would have lost its sting if it hadn’t used the word; just Django Unchained had to use the word and the beating to show the brutality of slavery so that story could progress.  “42” used it in every form that you can think and didn’t fantastically, not to where I won’t cringe when I hear it, but I think enough to lose some more of its power.

raised me to never use the “N” word.

Harrison Ford is perfect as Branch Rickey, the man who plucked Jackie from the KC Monarchs to bring up to the big leagues.  At times, I forgot I was watching Harrison Ford.  He did such a fantastic job at playing this person and really helped bring the grit of the story.  Harrison should get an Oscar Nomination for Best Supporting Actor for this film.  He was simply amazing and spellbinding.

The star of the film is Chadwick Boseman.  He played Jackie Robinson and was amazing as well.  You definitely felt the good and the bad from him.  He showed some real good acting chops.  His career is going to take off now and it should.  He was great.

The cast includes TR Knight from “Grey’s Anatomy”, Nicole Beharie “American Violet”, Christopher Meloni “OZ”, Lucas Black “Jarhead” and Andre Holland “Bride’s War”.  If you don’t know them, go to IMDB.com and look to see what amazing work they have done.  Though they and the remaining cast had smaller parts, they were intricate to the story and done very well. 

If you haven’t yet, you need to go see “42”.  Take your kids.  Take your buddies.  It is a great film and all will enjoy it.

 

This brings me to my BEEF CAKE.  I have a double dose of Beef Cake this week.  I had to pick to of the players mentioned in the last segment, Chadwick Boseman and Lucas Black.

 

Chadwick Boseman is relatively new to the scene for me.  I’m not sure if I have seen him in anything   He’s been on many television shows from “ER” to “Lincoln Heights” to “Fringe”.  He did play on my favorite daytime show, “All My Children”.  However, I can’t really say I remember him, but I will no longer forget him.

else or not.

He has this beautiful quirky smile.  He kind of has an Elvis snarl smile as I call it.  He has full luscious lips that you just want to kiss.  Not to mention in “42”, they showed him in the shower, top portion only, and he has a nice physique.  He also had a little chest hair which I love.  He’s very handsome and easy on the eyes.

 

 

This brings me to Lucas Black.  I’ve watched him since he was a kid in “American Gothic”.  I loved this show and was upset when the cancelled it.  However, I got to see the kid in “Sling Blade” where he did a fantastic job.  I would then see him occasionally in some television show here and there.  He is a good actor and he showed it “42”

Lucas has that Southern Boy next door kind of feel.  He’s handsome.  He’s athletic.  He’s the picture  He also has that lip curl that Chadwick has.  He has a boyish charm about him that just makes you like him.

of many guys who were my classmates that I crushed on.

 

I could go on but I’m leaning toward being perverted and no one wants that.  I need to cool off with a good dosing of this weeks Breakdown.

Is it just me or are Hollywood’s young set getting crazier and crazier?  Lindsay Lohan is going into rehab again.  Justin Bieber seeming to let his fame go to his head.  Amanda Bynes is going off the deep end?  Is this true?

What the hell Hollywood?  You chew them up and spit them out and don’t give a damn about these young lives.  I’m upset about Amanda Bynes.  She is a good comedian actress.  She is much better than Lindsay Lohan ever was.  It’s just horrible to see her go in a similar downward spiral.

Amanda, listen to me.  You are beautiful and talented.  You have the makings of being a wonderful comedic actress and I don’t want you to throw that away.  I’m nit sure what demons plague you, but get some help girl.  The world needs a beautiful young actress that is funny and can fill some romantic comedy roles out there that I know would be perfect for you.

Come live with me for awhile.  I will get you back on track.  You don’t have to worry about any sexual tension because I am gay.  We can hone your skills together and bring you to big major comeback that would leave all of Hollywood’s jaws in the dropped position.  Just think about it and give me a call girl.

 

Let’s talk about a woman who has it all together.  My selection of Belle of the Ball is Giuliana Rancic.  She is the face of E News and the elegance of Fashion Police.  She married Bill Ransic, who won “The Apprentice”. 

We’ve been watching Giuliana now for 2003.  We have watched her hone her skills as a host and entertainment reporter.  We enjoyed watching her with that other great female entertainment reporter, Ryan Seacrest.  Now she is co-hosting the E News with the devilishly handsome, Terrence Jenkins. 

You can see this chick also on Fashion Police.  She is often the voice of reason to Kelly’s whack-a-do punk and George’s kiss ass comments.  The Big “G”, as she is often called, really tells it accurately most of the time.  She can see a bad dress and call it a bad dress. I think the viewers like her the best because of that capability.

If E didn’t have her working hard enough, she’s also hosting along with her hubby, Bill Ransic, the new reality love show “Ready for Love”.  I am obsessed with this show.  Americans like reality love shows.  We love to watch catty girls duke it out over a late 30ish guy who can’t keep a decent relationship together.  Despite that it is a good concept having matchmakers pick the girls and coach them on how to win the man of their dreams.

Now I know my BFF Giuliana is reading my blog she tweets me all the time about it.  My plea to her is I’m ready for love.  Get those matchmakers working on setting me up with twelve potential spouses to marry me.  I’m waiting for my call.

 

With all that stated I need a drink, here’s my latest drink recipe craze.  This is perfect for the bridal season.

·                       1 ounce blue curaçao liqueur

·                       1 ounce gin

·                       ½ ounce tequila

·                       ½ ounce vodka

·                       ½ ounce triple sec

·                       ½ ounce rum

·                       1 ounce sweet and sour mix

·                       4 ounces lemon-lime soda

·                       1 cup ice cubes, plus more for serving

Shake ingredients (except the soda) together in a cocktail shaker half-filled with ice cubes. Add the soda to the shaker and stir (don't shake it!). Then, once combined, strain into a glass over ice and serve with a fun straw.

Alternatively, you can make a pitcher of this (multiplying the amounts) in advance and then top with the soda just before serving in ice-filled glasses.

 

Now I’m ready to answer some “If” questions.

 

1)      If you had to give a prize for the most sexually attractive politician in U.S. History, who would win it?

 

I know most people of a certain age would say JFK, but I never found him that attractive. Back in the day, Benjamin Franklin was a playboy and had many lovers.  Thomas Jefferson had a mistress as we all know.  It is even rumored that George Washington found comfort in the arms of lady of the night.  Barak Obama is attractive, but still not my type.  I like AaronSchock, US Representative form Illinois.

 

2)      If you had to name the single most erotic part of the human body, what would it be?

 

I vote for the lips.  I love kissing.

 

3)      If you had to name the least erotic part of the human body, what would it be?

 

I vote for nipples.  They do nothing for me and, in fact, I can’t stand it when people try anything with them.

 

4)      If you were to add a thirteenth month to the year, where would you insert it?

 

I would put in between March and April.  It would length the time to get taxes in and we would make sure it wouldn’t snow in April ever again.

 

 

Last but certainly not least, let’s Shine the Rainbow on someone.  Our LGBT Icon is none other than Sara Gilbert.  She’s everyone’s favorite snarky TV daughter from Roseanne.  We enjoyed her brief reunion with Johnny Galecki with her stint on the Big Bang Theory.  But we can revel in her everyday on “The Talk”.  She is beautiful.  She is smart.  She is funny and has a great viewpoint.  We celebrate her success and can’t wait for more from her.  I hope she calls me for an upcoming interview with her and Sharon Osborne before my fame gets so big that I have turn people away. 

 

 

There you have this week’s blog.  Until next week, May all your drinks be mixed well and heavily poured.