As we are all either enjoying Pride or getting for Pride this month. I figure I would come with some rules that I think every gay man should follow. If you follow these rules, you will go a long way in the community and have a good time.
1) Be yourself, but don't offend. You can have a good time and leave the claws at home.
2) If someone older hits on you and you are not into Geriatric Park, say thank you but I am not interested as politely as you can. One day you will be Geriatric and hit on young men and hope they will be nice to you.
3) When you hear someone say thank you but I am not interested, reply with you're welcome and have a great time. Don't be offended when you were there age, you didn't like the old Geezer that came up to you so why would this young chicken be different than you.
4) If you are older and a younger guys responds positive to your advances, count yourself lucky and do all that you can with him. Your friends (who you will brag to) will enjoy the details and get ticked if you didn't hit it.
5) If you see someone who is different than you, you are in the right place because you are not a clone convention. Don't point and giggle at the fat man in the corner or the disabled guy hitting on the beefcake or the unfortunate looking guy drinking it up at the bar. We all can't be Narcissistic, Snobby, Statuesque Works of Art Like you. Remember you will not always be young and pretty, soon you will be lucky to be called distinguished.
6) If you are hitting on a really hot guy and you find out he is HIV+ and that is not something you are avoiding, don't be a jerk. Treat the guy as if he is any normal person because that is what he is. Don't freak out, yell and run away. You can be polite or maybe you can learn to love him just because he has HIV doesn't mean you will get it and doesn't mean he's going to perish tomorrow.
7) On the opposite spectrum, bug chasers don't ask your HIV+ guy to infect you. It is not funny. It is not a passing fad. It is very serious and many who have HIV+, while yes are living longer, don't want to infect others. Be kind. Stop stalking them and stop asking for something you know little to nothing about.
8) Sisters be kind to your brothers. Gay men stop treating lesbians like they have the plague and vice versa. No one is asking either of you to go down on the other. You can be friends with out showing her your dangler or her showing you her axe wound.
09) Stop trying to put a label on everything and stop have separate Prides. It makes no sense. Pride is about coming together as a community and as a whole. There doesn't need to be Pride, Bear Pride, Black Pride, Latino Pride, Young Pride, Spirit Pride, Lavender Pride etc... Also stop putting letters in our community name. We are the LGBTIAQLDSJGIRFPO.....whatever....It makes it confusing and segregates us further. We should be a community that shows unity in our diversity.
10) If you see an ex, just smile and go in a different direction. Don't confront and have a meltdown for everyone to see. It isn't pretty. Everyone will be laughing at you, not your ex. You will not get laid.
11) If you see your date making out with someone else, don't have meltdown. Everyone will be sad around and you and you will attract those people who will swoop in to try to help the wounded chicken just to get them home and have their way with you. In this case, I would just leave and when he asks you later that night or tomorrow what happened to you, then you can let him have it with both barrels. Pride is not the Jerry springer show and no one really wants to see it.
There you have it. I hope everyone has a great Pride!!!!!
Until next time, may drink always be full and heavily poured!!!!
